Do Over!

Ever want a do-over? Ever just really wish you could go back and have another crack at a conversation, or behavior? For me, it’s usually my MOUTH that gets me into trouble. Not always, but generally my body seems to obey better than my tongue.


I had trouble sleeping last night. I kept thinking about things I wish I’d said or done during the day—better ways to say things. I’m always a better speaker in my head, and am sure I could do better if I could do it again. What is it they say? Hindsight is always 20/20. I do it with sermons, too. Replaying. Rewriting. Editing, hopefully Improving.


Maybe different wouldn’t be better though. Maybe it would only be different. Maybe if I got the chance to do it over, I would just mess up in different ways, and want to redo different statements.


Desiring to do better isn’t a bad thing though, is it? I think not. Wanting to do better keeps us reaching toward the perfection to which we are called. Shouldn’t we want to do better, to be better? Perhaps it’s because I communicate for a living—as teaching and pastor—that accurately and adequately conveying my thoughts and feelings is so important to me. Perhaps it’s because I want to be understood, and not misunderstood (and yes, those are two different things).


Yet, it seems to me like we should live our lives in such a way that we don’t regret the things we say or do. But that requires mastery over our tongues and emotions. Hopefully, that comes in increasing measures with age and wisdom. I’m apparently not there yet. Until then, maybe there are others who will extend me some grace. I’ll return the favor.

Cheating Thoughts

Ok. Here are my thoughts on the previous post.

First, these people were way too caught up in their internet identities. The contrast between their physical appearance in the pictures and their choices in avatars spoke volumes to me. Unfortunately, they aren't the only people doing this. Many people spend too much time here, while their real life around them suffers. I know whereof I speak. People will say and do things online that they were never do in real life. They will go place online that they would never visit in real life. The internet should enhance our lives, not replace it. If you find your life divided between who you are online and who you are in real life, or that more of your life exists online than off, you are in trouble.

Does this constitute cheating? Yes, I think it does. Consider what cheating is in a relationship. I think it's anything that betrays the relationship, that makes one partner feel devalued, humiliated, or demeaned. Certainly this behavior qualifies.

Personally, I consider this online game behavior to be a form of pornography. Pornography is the depiction of sexual subject matter with the intention to sexually excite the viewer. No doubt this man was sexually excited by his online activities. Pornography is a dangerous, potentially addictive choice and destroys many a marriage.

Is it sin? Yes. Sin is falling short, missing the mark, or aiming at the wrong target. This behavior falls short of the idea God has for marriage. The marriage relationship is a reflection of God's relationship with God in the Trinity. This is why it is considered a sacrament in some churches (not the UMC). Perfect union. Perfect cooperation. Perfect love. The marriage relationship is the place where we should feel the most loved, most accepted, and most safe.

Does it constitute adultery in the biblical/Christian sense? Yes, I think so, if we think Jesus meant what he said. In Matthew 5, he said that one who lusts has already committed adultery. Just a few chapters later, in Matthew 15, Jesus tells us why: For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander, and in Luke 6:45, Jesus says that a person acts in a way that is consistent with his or her heart.

Sin begins long before the action, with the first glimmer of thought, in the entertaining of an idea, in not casting down the stray notion. I have no reason to believe that, give the opportunity, this man would not cheat in real life. In fact, the article indicates this is how the relationship started. The woman was already in an unhappy marriage, and instead of working on it, she's in an internet chat room meeting this man. So he was the other man before he found "the other woman." The old adage 'if he/she will cheat with you, he/she will cheat on you' hold much truth.

Some would say that Jesus was talking about definition of sin, and that this should have be applied to other areas of life. For instance, they would claim that one could not use this to satisfy either Moses' adultery or Paul's abandonment criteria for divorce. However, I see no indication in the life and teachings of Jesus Christ, or in the witness of the Bible as a whole, that God makes these type of distinctions in our lives. Our actions, and the hearts in which they originate, are of equal concern to God. This isn't to make divorce easy. Far from it! Rather, it sets the standard for the relationship high, and challenges us to attend careful toward it.

Does it constitute adultery in the legal sense? No. (Wow, I heard those brakes come screeching to a halt. Sorry to give you whiplash.) Now, this cannot be legal advice because I didn't go to law school; I just thought about it. Adultery is voluntary sexual relations between an individual who is married and someone who is not the individual's spouse. Sexual relations are usually taken to mean intercourse, but regardless how far the physical act must go to constitute adultery, there was no physical contact in this case. Therefore, adultery has not occurred in this sense.

This is a sad situation, in my opinion. Two individuals unhappy with their life, without healthy self-esteem, and perhaps stable mental health started a relationship badly. The nurtured it badly, and it ended badly. The cheating, which most of us agree it is, was only one ingredient in a series of poor choices.

What Constitutes "Cheating"?

Last night, I ran across this article: Woman Divorces Husband for Cheating in Online Game
I encourage you to go read the article and then come back.

But in case you won't do that, here's a summary: Man and woman meet online and get married in real life. Their online identities get married in a game called Second Life. Then man's online identity has an affair in the game. Woman is upset and is divorcing man in real life.

Does this constitute cheating?

I'm really asking. I know most of you won't post--you'll write me privately like always. :-) That's okay, too. But I'm interested in other people's opinions on this. I have thoughts (you knew I did) about online cheating specifically, as well as about friendships/relationships, and the role the internet can/does/should play in a person's life. I'll post my thoughts in the next day or two, but I invite you to consider these issues, too.

Don't Go To Church....BE The Church

Another church's video from the same event.

Don't Go To Church

The video in the previous entry is from an event sponsored by a group of churches in Paulding County, GA. This example of discipleship -- matching their words with their actions -- is inspiring!

Be The Church

Racism in the Presidential Race

Wow!
Talk about shockers!
The amount of racism still present in my neck of the woods is amazing.

I wasn't naive enough to think that racism was gone, but I thought that we were further along than this. The number of people who have objected to voting for Obama because he is black has stunned me. The people abandoning long-time party loyalties . . . who have berated me for not supporting the "correct" party, the one of the working person . . . certainly abandoned those convictions post-haste when an African American candidate was selected.

Gosh, I thought this was the 21st century, not the 1960's. Granted I wasn't born until the end of that decade, and have no idea what it was really like. Fear seems to have gripped both sides. Old prejudices fade slowly. Minds change one degree at a time. But still! We objected to his RACE?! Really??

And because we were too politically correct to own up to our racism, we cloaked it in fear of Muslims and terrorism. I have no idea about the religious beliefs of President-elect Obama and his family. All I can judge by is their words and deeds, and they seems to be supporting that he is a Christian, in the United Church of Christ denomination. However one may feel about the positions of the UCC denomination, it is considered a Christian denomination.

What I do know is that we would not have done that to someone else. Let's look at a couple examples. Let's supposed John Doe was born to Catholic parents, and raised in the Catholic faith during childhood, but as an adult, joined a Baptist church where he was active for more than 20 years. We would not consider him the "Catholic" candidate. If Sara Smith's parents were atheist and she converted to Episcopalian faith, years later we would not call her the "closet atheist" candidate.

Just seems to me that racism is behind this, and I'm just shocked. I guess I've had my head in the clouds -- too focused on how things ought to be rather than the way they actually are.

Kinda wish everyone had let me just keep my head there. Ignorance was bliss, and now my bubble is burst. There's much still to be done. Guess I need to get down to earth and back to work.

Christian Behavior Toward Elected Officials

I addressed most of this in the previous post, but I have one final thought on how Christians should behave in regard to elected officials.

Since President Bush was elected for a 2nd term, I've heard a good many people say, "He isn't MY President." It's been printed on t'shirts, bumper stickers, and even on coffee mugs. Now I'm hearing some of the same people who were so offended by the comment when it was directed at Bush, saying it about Obama.

It's just not appropriate . . .and it's not TRUE. The President of the United States is elected by the democratic process established by our forefathers. He or she represents the duly elected choice of our country. He or she IS the President of the United States, and therefore, of every citizen of the United States. The only way to make him or her not be your President is to renounce your citizenship and move out of the country.

I'm not suggesting that people leave the country, but I am suggesting that they offer the OFFICE of President the respect it deserves. Some have accused me of feeling this way because the person I supported was elected, but that's not true. A man has been elected who was not my first choice, but Barack Obama will soon be MY President. I felt the same way when Bill Clinton was in office, especially during his Monica Lewinski scandal.

Christian Election Behavior

McLame. McSame. McBush. McPain.
Fauxbama. Oblama. Obama-Osama. NoBama.
Billary. Hillary Rob'Em Clinton.

Heard any of those names during this campaign? I have. Many of them by Christian friends, and I'm apalled. We should be ashamed of ourselves. I believe Christians are under biblical imperative to constrain themselves from disrespectful comments of this nature.

Remember the saying when we were children, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"? Sounds fine on the playground, but it is wholly untrue. Words do hurt, and they can bring shame on those who speak them.

James writes extensively on our need to control our tongue:

• Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (1:19);
• If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight reign on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless (1:26);
• With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, an with it we curse men . . . this should not be (3:9-10).

Paul told us to put away coarse language from our lips (Colossians 3:8), using a Greek word that means shameful, vile, or base communication [in other words, more than just "curse" words].

Jesus told us that we will give account for every careless word (Matthew 12:36).

Taken with admonitions concerning our leaders, I believe the Scripture presents a clear witness as to our acceptable behavior.

• 1 Peter 2:13-15: Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as tohe supremem authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God's will that by gdoing good you should sielnce the ignorant talk of foolish men. Ouch! We certainly haven't done any silencing, have we?
• Titus 3:1: Remind the people to be subject to rules and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.
• Romans 13:1: Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for these is no authority except that which God has established. [I recommend reading this section through verse 7]

This does not mean that Christians are restrained from speaking their conscience, voicing their opinion, and speaking their mind. We may choose a candidate and feel free to share why. We are free to criticize the candidates we do not choose. We are not prohibited from strong opinion, but we are, by nature of our commitment to Christ, limited to attack on ISSUES, and are restrained from calling names.

God's Political Alliances

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

Nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord.

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are My ways higher than your ways,

and My thoughts than your thoughts."

It is gross misunderstanding of the nature of God and our relationship to Him to think that either of our political parties possesses the allegiance of God. Though it may come as a shocker to some, God's goal is not to ensure the success of the United State of America.

Yes, that is what I said, and it is what I mean. Printing "In God We Trust" on our money does not make it so. Asking God to "Bless America" does not obligate God to do so.

God may use anything and anyone to accomplish His purposes. Christians, if they have read the book we claim as our guiding document, should know this. But since many Christians are biblically illiterate, let's review.

• God knows how we should live -- in peace with one another and in relationship with Him. We were created precisely for this relationship.
• Yet, humankind, almost from the very beginning, has disregarded God's instruction and rejected that relationship. Our own rebellious, selfish actions take us away from God and eventually outside His blessing, protection, and even mercy.
• God found it necessary, from time to time, to let us experience the consequences of that ignorance. Sometimes the instruments with which this lesson was delivered were those who hate God. Was God endorsing the Egyptians, Babylonians, Assyrians, Greeks, Romans, Persians or Medes and their lifestyles? Certainly not.

If God, when He was working through a physical nation did not blanketly endorse the actions of that nation, do we think that now that His kingdom is not geopolitical that God will do so? Now THAT is the height of arrogance. Do we REALLY think that either party represents the holiness of heart and mind that God embodies, toward which God draws us and behind which God could cast His unconditional support?!

Now. Time has come for a little self-revelation. Because I do not argue politics and have failed to challenge blanket statements and assumptions, some of you will find this surprising. I have more often voted Republican than Democrat. Though I have have always taken each race individually, I have voted Republican for the top of the ticket in every Presidential election in which I have been old enough to vote. Why? Because I believe in small government, and low regulation of a free marketplace. But also because the Democratic party endorses a set of values too liberal for my own convictions: euthanasia; abortion; a policy of care for the earth based on the devaluation of humanity (valuing the spotted owl more than human life) rather than the caretaking responsibilities entrusted to us by our Creator; government as a parental figure that undermines and overrides acutal parental rights and responsibilities; the espousal of tolerance for everything except religious moral conviction; overtaxation and overregulation to the extent that pursuit of the American dream becomes difficult-to-impossible; and a system of aid which rewards laziness, penalizes ingenuity and hard work, and traps the poor in a vicious cycle of so-called help from which few can escape with any success.

Lest you think I level no criticism against the Republicans, they would, in the name of free business and person conscience, ignore the poor and the need for education, healthcare, fair wages, and sound business practices because many within their ranks can afford to do otherwise. I have friends that are soundly in the Democratic party, precisely for this reason. I have found many of them to be profoundly committed to their faith, and the things which they may abhor in their party do not overshadow the good they beliee it can do. Since this is precisely my conviction of the Republican party, how do I fault them? Some of them view the state as doing what the church has failed to do, and I cannot disagree with them. If true religious is care for the widows and orphans, why is there so little true religion?!

Rather than believing either party possesses God's approval, I personally believe that they both stand in God's disapproval. Neither represents His values. Neither has His purpose as their own. I believe a Christian can cast a vote for a Republican without sin. I believe a Christian can cast a vote for a Democrat without sin.

Oh, how I wish that Christians would not be the naive pawns of unions, and special interest groups. How I wish we would we would stop believing the lie that God has endorsed a party, and oh, how I wish that we could stop taking our respective red and blue bats and pummeling one another until we are all bloody!

God cares not whether you vote Red or Blue. God cares that you have committed your life to Him and struggle with how to live into that commitment with every word, deed, and decision in every moment of every day. May we go in peace to serve the Lord . . . not the party.

Thoughts on Elections

Ok. Fair warning. I'm on a tirade this morning -- the morning after our Presidential election. But it's my blog -- my web diary -- and I feel justified in venting here if I choose. :-) If you're not up for it, don't read.

I have three points I want to touch on:
God's relationship to our political parties,
Christian behavior in elections and toward our elected officials, and
racism in the presidential race.

I will probably address each in a successive post, and may not be able to get to all of them today.