Hello Again

Yep, it's me . . . actually writing a blog entry. It's been a long time, and much has happened. Perhaps I'll fill you in on what's been going on in future posts. For now, here's the brief version:

• Dad had 5 trips to the ER in 30 days, two that resulted in admission;
• We moved him from a senior citizen's apartment to an assisted living facility because he preferred that over moving in with me;
• I was appointed to a new church--Gadsden First United Methodist--much closer to home. Leaving Ebenezer and Hebron was excruciatingly painful, making me question whether I'm cut out for this pastoring thing. But soon I was engrossed in my responsibilities at GFUMC and began learning to love the people there. I continue to hold Ebenezer and Hebron in my heart, to hold them up in my prayers, but our family is thriving and growing at our new church, and that, I believe, is the lesson to be learned by itinerant clergy.
• Made 3 trips to Asbury's Kentucky campus for seminary classes. I had registered for these before I knew I was transferring church, so it made my summer schedule WILD!

Ok. There it is. The short version. So if I said that I hadn't been blogging because things had been busy, that wouldn't be untrue. However, it wouldn't be the real reason I haven't been blogging. The reason I haven't been blogging . . . well . . . is that it's HARD. It's hard for me to put my feeling and thoughts out here for everyone to see. When things get stressful, when I get knotted up, my instinct is to withdraw.

The bottom line is that I've been scared. I was scared that I was going to lose my Dad. I was scared that I couldn't handle the things that GFUMC wanted me to do. I was scared that I wouldn't be able to relate and get to know the young people there. I was scared of how I would do in on-campus classes, and of going where I knew no one.

And then, this morning, I received word that a fellow clergywoman's husband had passed away. They were a clergy couple (meaning that both of them were clergy), and he was in my licensing school class. She was my roommate at a recent Emmaus Walk. He was just diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in August, and now he's gone. I can.not.imagine. May the Comforter hold her and their family tightly in the upcoming days!

And in a flash, a lightbulb went off in my head: Not saying it doesn't stop that which you dread from happening. But saying them just might let others support you when it does.

So . . . I will try again, to post here and share. I will try to share from my heart and not from my head. I will trust that those who read do so for curiosity, or interest, or because we share a love and support of one another.

[There's much more to say on many of these topics. But they're for another day. :-) Meanwhile, I may post a silly video. BTW, my goal is 3 posts a week. That sounds reasonable, doesn't it?]